2011년 6월 22일 수요일

my routine

Why am I feeling a fear of getting older?

Am I? I'm just pretending I don't feel afraid of getting older. In my case, I'm feeling the fear too much.
I've  recently heard of about the marriage of my friends. The number of my friends who are getting married soon is more than 5 this year.

I'm just 27 years old. But I'm 29 years old in Korea. The number My age is one of the reasons why I feel fear.
We add a year to our birthdate in Korea after born. I was born in Sep, 1983. That's why I have two different ages depending on where I'm. :D. I prefer staying abroad. But my nationality is Korean. So I need to say "i'm 29years old. T.T


The average age of marrige is beween 27 and 32 years in korea. I think I'm in the middle of that. In additioin, some friends are married and getting married. I'm afraid that I'm the only one who are will not be married in the end. That makes me have fear as well.
I have been working hard abroad. and I have a plan to study in N.Y. and Taipei for languagues after a year.
I'm just thinking if my choice is correct or not. Even if I work hard and achieve the goal I want to dream of, The destiny and life of women might still be determined by men. I don't want to think like that. But many people told me like that. That's because I'm afraid.

I know humans can't live alone. But I don't want my life to gets changed by anyone.
At this moment, I have nobody with whom to get married, So I'll just focus on my work. But I'm not able to be sure if I'm doing well for my future.
I might be knowing the result at least after 10 years.

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